· REVISING · EDITING · WRITING ·

Specializing in Revising Your Words

Before and After Examples:
What Professional Rewriting Can Do For You

BEFORE

The first step is education and is available free at [COMPANY]. Our library includes buyer reviews that are only available to members and certified providers, custom training videos, and educational reference materials. Here a shopper can learn what green options are available to reduce the use of fossil fuels and reduce long-term energy costs

AFTER

The first step is Education. You will find plenty of information, available free, at [COMPANY]. (With link) Our library includes buyer reviews (only available to members and certified providers), custom training videos, and educational reference materials. At the site, a shopper will learn what green options are available to reduce the use of fossil fuels and lower long-term energy costs.

BEFORE

Thank you for taking time to visit our website. First I’ll introduce myself. My name is Chris, my wife Kathryn and our four daughters Lillian, Melissa, Aleah and Kayla live in XXX. [OUR COMPANY] is a second generation family business dedicated to providing you, our customer with the very best in country furniture and decor. We value every relationship that is formed here. You can expect to be treated like family when you shop with us. Our business was founded in the spring of 2009 by my father-in-law. I started working as the store manager, in January 2010 we had the opportunity to become the owners. It has been a great experience along the way especially the relationships that have been formed with our dedicated customers. With my furniture manufacturing background we are able to source some of the regions finest craftsman. Stop by some time and experience [OUR COMPANY]!

AFTER

[THE COMPANY] is a second-generation family business dedicated to providing our customers with simply the best country and rustic furnishings at a reasonable price. All our furniture is handmade locally by expert craftsmen. With our history in furniture manufacturing we are able to source some of the region’s finest artisans. The products we carry are selected for quality and authenticity—and all made in the USA.

We value every relationship. So you can expect to be treated like family when you shop with us.

BEFORE

It is time to let abundance (in all its forms) into your life. It is also time to take care of your well-being, your desires and let your soul shine for everyone to see. No more self-judgment and blocked emotions. These negative though patterns and self-judgment keep us from fulfilling our deepest desires by blocking our full potential. In this book, you will learn how to get rid of your negative mindset by identifying your limiting beliefs that are only slowing you down. To attract abundance and joy in our lives is quite simple, it is a state of mind and you will have the possibility to easily shift your way of thinking into a more productive and positive mindset. It is time to live your life to the fullest!

AFTER

It is time to let abundance in your life in all its forms. Now is the time to take care of your well-being, letting your soul shine for everyone to see. No more self-judgment and blocked emotions. These negative thought patterns keep you from fulfilling your deepest desires and realizing your full potential. In this book, you will learn how to get rid of that negative mindset by identifying limiting beliefs that are slowing you down. To attract abundance and joy in your life is simple. It only requires a change of mind. You will have the opportunity to easily shift your way of thinking into a more productive and positive mindset. It is time to live your life to the fullest!